I am sitting here typing this out. Thinking. Will anyone notice? Will it even be perceived that at exactly 2:21 am, I was on my laptop, typing thoughts into oblivion?
Things are different now. I am alone. I am scared of what that means. There is no future prospect at the moment. It is just me. Just me carving my way in the universe. I used the problems of my ex, and every other guy after that, to try and shape me into something. I took care of their problems and left my own behind, neglected and unresolved.
Starting tomorrow, I'm starting a new round of therapy. Guided in a new direction. It is all geared towards me. Towards the root of what has happened to me, to create the feelings that I have. To say I'm petrified is an understatement.
I have spent 20 years shaping this person, and to know that I'm going to be undoing some of that work and laying new tracks is hard for me. But I've got to do what's best for me. I know that. I also know that this is going to take work. More work than I've given anything in a long time. But I have to do this. So let's just see where it goes...shall we?
Just me and my life
I'm the tall one in the center.
