What it means (the day after)

So yesterday was not a good day for me.  I broke down all over again.  But looking back it proved something to me.  That person was never really my friend, because I didn't know him at all.  And while that may seem like such a negative and terrible thing, it isn't.  Yes it sucks, but it also makes it easier to forget it and him, when I realize there is nothing to remember, because in reality, almost every part of our relationship and subsequent friendship, was a bold-faced, terrible, lie.
I don't say this for sympathy or anything like that.  It is just a statement of fact.  The person I thought was my friend, was not my friend at all.  He lied to me every step of the way.  And now that this question is over, I am closing the book and walking away from it.

So what's next for me?
Well I'm working on productions and making new friends.  I've met some incredible people lately and I can't wait to see what the future holds.  I know that it will be better because I will do all in my power to make it so.

That's all for now,

B

Questions Answered

Today I saw him.  THE HIM. The one who has been a focal point of so much of what I have felt and written and thought, and dreamed and all of that.  He has haunted my mind and my heart.  And I have seen him during last semester driving and I was pretty okay, but today when I saw him in his car, I broke.  Again.

I got on fb, the instigator of the world's problems, and I asked his ex if she had seen him over christmas, she said no, but that they had talked.  I began to vent to her what I was feeling, and she was honest with me about yet again some other things he had lied about.  I find myself now as i'm writing this, questioning so much.  She said to me, "I think he was just worried about your feelings."  And I said "Why do you say that?" To which she retorted "you were his friend,yo!"

She then answered a question I've been wanting to know for a VERY long time.  One that I was lied to about over and over and over and over.  And I've been advised to not know the answer, but for me, I think knowing it just kind of settled things for me. I realized he and I will not be friends ever again, because even when he told me the "truth" it was a half truth or just another life.  I am letting it go.  I have had enough.  I've said this before, but this time I mean it.  I think the door has finally closed on it and on him.  We will see, but now I have more closure at least.

Thanks,

B

New Semester, New Experiences

Starting off this semester in a new way.  Completely and totally living life just for myself and loving every second of it.  Not worrying with anything but my career and my friends.  Anything else will just be extra fluff.

I can't wait to see what the future holds.

This is post is shorter than average, but I just don't have anything to really vent or let it all out about at the moment. But I'm sure I will at some point.

thanks for reading and keep the faith.

Benn